Nuclear Carrot Warfare


carrot new

So this recipe is officially dedicated to this guy:



Beware! This, the first in the epic quest to find the ultimate veggie burger, is absolute carrot-mania. Not for the carrot-phobic nor even for the carrot-mildly-apprehensive among you. These burgers are for the carrot fanatics. The carrot die-hards. The Uncle Montys. And yet, surprisingly, straight people can still eat them.


  • 2tbsp Olive Oil
  • 4 Spring Onions, Chopped
  • 2 Cloves Garlic, Chopped
  • 1 tsp Grated Fresh Ginger
  • 8 Medium Carrots, Grated
  • 1tsp Turmeric
  • 1tsp Coriander Ground
  • Handful Fresh Coriander
  • 1/2tsp Crushed Chillies
  • 2 Egg Whites
  • 2tsps Peanut Butter
  • Juice 1/2 Lime
  • 1/4 Cup Breadcrumbs

Ok, beware, this recipe is a little messy. Box-grating 8 carrots is, for me, the vegetarian equivalent to nuclear warfare. I guess it didn’t help that when I put some bread in the food processor to make the breadcrumbs I forgot to put the top back on… but that is just a guaranteed me-ism. When I am in the kitchen, I WILL make a mess. On the plus side, in my book, anything with peanut butter in it instantly has the potential for greatness…

Heat 1tbsp of oil in a frying pan and fry the spring onions, garlic and ginger over a low heat for 2 mins. Add the carrots and the spices and season, turn up the heat and stir for 5 mins. Transfer to a bowl and let it cool for a few minutes. This step is essential, unless you want scrambled egg whites spunking up your otherwise delicious burger.

Whisk the egg whites with the peanut butter (if this step involves some minor finger licking, don’t be ashamed – embrace it!) and lime and fold into the carrot mixture, add the breadcrumbs. Shape into 5-6 burgers and pop in the fridge overnight.

The next day preheat the oven to 180’C. Heat the remaining oil in a pan and fry the burgers until they are browned on each side.

Transfer to a baking dish and cook in the oven for 10-15mins.

As I mentioned before, this shit is ORANGE. Carrot-lovers unite. The original recipe said that this should make 4 burgers: this is a lie. Either the chef was tripping and wanted a burger that would make him feel like a little, tiny pixie or he just had a real hunger that day. The burgers were humongous. If I was making it again, I would probably go for six, because the smaller they are the better they cook and hold together. But still, they were yummy! They had a really nice heat to them from the spice and they were super moist but still crispy on the outside. I served them on Soda Bread Buns (recipe to follow), with mango chutney, cheese and some salad-y bits.

burger 014

It’s a total beast!

VERDICT: This is definitely not the world’s perfect veggie burger. It’s really yummy, but in all honesty… it just feels too healthy! You don’t get that satisfying, disgusting, slightly guilty feeling that a true self-respecting burger should provide. The texture is a little too crumbly, and all in all it’s just SO carrot-y… It’s just too stereotypically vegetarian for me, a healthy, orange mush. Sorry Monty.

VERDICT (OF THE CARNIVOROUS BOYFRIEND): Mmmm (I think he finds anything that requires dislocation of the jaw to eat enjoyable) bloody good on the whole but could be firmer, needs a bit more seasoning. We can do better!